Twilight the Musical
by theenvylover
Summary: Twilight rewritten as a humorous musical. Same concept as Chicago, which you don't have to see to understand. Bella sees the most dramatic parts of her life in song. i might be a horrible person because i personally think that this is friggin hilarious!XD
1. Edward Leaves

the print in _italics_ is what was in the book  
the rest isn't.  
(just in case you couldn't figure that out)

**Twilight the Musical**

New Moon  
Hardcover First Edition  
Page 68  
Fourth line  
Edward leaves.

_Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable._

"_Okay, let's talk," I said. It sounded braver than it felt._

_He took a deep breath._

"_Bella, we're leaving."_

_I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask._

"_Why now? Another year—"_

"_Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."_

_His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant._

_He stared back coldly._

_With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood._

"_When you say we—," I whispered._

"_I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct._

Out of nowhere music started playing. An eerie song. It sounded somewhat familiar but in my state I couldn't place it. I looked up at Edward to figure out what was going on.

"Hey hey," he sang. "Bye bye bye."

I stared at him in horror as he began singing. His singing itself was breathtaking. The meaning behind the words though, was not.

"I'm doin' this tonight,  
You're probably gonna start a fight.  
I know this can't be right.  
Hey baby come on,  
I loved you endlessly,  
When you weren't there for me.  
So now it's time to leave and make it alone  
I know that I can't take no more  
It ain't no lie  
I wanna see you out that door  
Baby, bye, bye, bye...

Bye Bye  
Don't wanna be a fool for you  
Just another player in your game for two  
You may hate me but it ain't no lie,  
Baby, bye, bye, bye...  
Bye Bye  
Don't really wanna make it tough,  
I just wanna tell you that I had enough.  
It might sound crazy,  
But it ain't no lie,  
Baby, bye, bye, bye"

With that I fell to the ground and blacked out.

* * *

i'm thinking that i might be a terrible person for thinking that this is funny.  
...  
it is, isn't it?  
...  
well, the song was  
"Bye bye bye" by NSync 

the music video will be on my page shortly  
(because it's much better when you actually know the song)

:D  
well, tell me what you think.  
i have alot of ideas,  
the only thing i'm waiting for is approval from you guys.  
(flames are accepted.)

_disclaimer_- Twilight © and all of its contents are owned by † **Stephenie Meyer** † and not me.


	2. After James Attacks

the print in _italics_ is what was in the book  
the rest isn't.  
(just in case you couldn't figure that out)

**Twilight the Musical**

Twilight  
Paperback  
Page 452  
First Line  
After James Attacks

_I was brought back, almost to the surface, by a sharp pain slashing my upraised hand, but I couldn't find my way back far enough to open my eyes._

"_Oh no, Bella, no!" the angel's voice cried in horror._

_Behind that longed-for sound was another noise – an awful tumult that my mind shied away from. A vicious bass growling, a shocking snapping sound, and a high keening, suddenly breaking off…_

_I tried to concentrate on the angel's voice instead._

"Are you OK  
You OK  
You OK, Bella?  
Are you OK  
You OK  
You OK, Bella?  
Are you OK  
You OK  
You OK, Bella?  
Are you OK?  
You OK  
You OK, _Bella_?"

I struggled to form words.

"Are you OK?  
Will you tell us that you're OK?  
There's a sign at the window  
That he struck you  
A crescendo, _Bella!_  
He came into your studio  
He left the bloodstains on the carpet  
Then you ran into the mirror  
You were struck down  
It was your doom

Are you OK?  
You OK  
You OK, Bella?"

"What happened?" I asked him hazily.

"You've been hit by  
Doo doo.  
You've been struck by  
Doo.  
A smoooooth criminal"

* * *

"POW!"  
:D  
I love that song... 

speaking of that song,  
i used the Alien Ant Farm version of "Smooth Criminal"  
five points to whoever knows  
(without googling)  
who the original singer is  
:3

i still think that i might be a horrible person because these make me laugh...  
XD

-the**envy**lover

_disclaimer_- Twilight © and all of its contents are owned by † **Stephenie Meyer** † and not me.


	3. Before James Attacks

the print in _italics_ is what was in the book  
the rest isn't.  
(just in case you couldn't figure that out)

**Twilight the Musical**

Twilight  
Paperback  
Page 447  
Third Line  
Before James Attacks

_"Would you mind, very much, if I left a little letter of my own for your Edward?"_

_He took a step back and touched a palm-sized digital video camera balanced carefully on top of the stereo. A small red light indicated that it was already running. He adjusted it a few times, widening the frame. I stared at him in horror._

_"I'm sorry, but I just don't think he'll be able to resist hunting me after he watches this. And I wouldn't want him to miss anything. It was all for him, of course. You're simply a human, who unfortunately was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and indisputably running with the wrong crowd, I might add."_

_He stepped toward me, smiling. "Before we begin…"_

He reached back and pressed a button on what looked like a stereo. Before I could ask what was going on, he whipped out a microphone and started to sing.

"Getting away,  
Getting away,  
Getting away,  
Getting away,  
Getting away,  
Getting away,  
Getting away,  
Getting away,  
Getting away,  
With murder"

_I couldn't help myself – I tried to run. As useless as I knew it would be, as weak as my knees already were, panic took over and I bolted for the emergency door._

_He was in front of me in a flash. I didn't see if he used his hand or his foot, it was too fast. A crushing blow struck my chest – I felt myself flying backward, and then heard the crunch as my head bashed into the mirrors. The glass buckled, some of the pieces shattering and splintering on the floor beside me._

"Let me finish," he grunted before he started again.

"I feel irrational  
So confrontational  
To tell the truth I am  
Getting away with murder  
It isn't possible  
To never tell the truth  
But the reality is I'm getting away with murder  
Getting away,  
Getting away,  
Getting away…"

* * *

again,  
me, horrible person, laughing my ass off.  
sorry guys...  
XD 

flames are definitely accepted,  
just don't tell me  
"i don't get it".  
there's nothing really to get,  
it's just really random.  
:D

the song-  
"Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach.

the last chapter's was originally by Michael Jackson  
so,  
**Kudos to  
Silidons and  
BellyGnomes**  
who actually knew  
:D

_disclaimer_- Twilight © and all of its contents are owned by † **Stephenie Meyer** † and not me.


	4. Meeting Edward

**i had the best time writing this  
**:D  
enjoy.

the print in _italics_ is what was in the book  
the rest isn't.  
(just in case you couldn't figure that out)

**Twilight the Musical**

Twilight  
Paperback  
Page 22  
Fifth line  
Meeting Edward  
(by the Offspring)

_As I examined them, the youngest, one of the Cullens, looked up and met my gaze, this time with evident curiosity in his expression. As I looked swiftly away, it seemed to me that his glance held some kind of unmet expectation._

"_Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?" I asked._

Suddenly all of the lights went down except for one spotlight on the mysterious boy.

"_That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him," _she whispered as music started playing. Edward whipped out a microphone and sang.

"All the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy."

I stared at them like they were crazy. Not the entire Cullen/Hale table that was singing, but my table who acted like nothing was going on. The whole cafeteria seemed to not even notice that these five people were now dancing on the table. Jasper Hale stopped dancing momentarily to speak into the mic.

"Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis."

Emmett grabbed the mic from Jasper and sang while the others danced around Edward.

"You know it's kind of hard  
Just to get along today.  
Our subject isn't cool,  
But he fakes it anyway.  
He may not have a clue;  
And he may not have style.  
But everything he lacks  
Well he _makes up in denial_."

Everybody but Edward started to sing the chorus.

"So don't debate, a player straight  
You know he really doesn't **get it anyway.**  
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real."

They pointed to me.

"For you no way, for you no way!  
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate.  
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake."

They pointed to the boy beside me. Mike was it? They were suggesting that I should… No!

"The world needs wannabe's  
So Hey! Hey! Do that brand new thing."

They shook their hips in unison with the music. I looked around the cafeteria again but nobody seemed to notice. I questioned my sanity.

"Give it to me baby," Alice sang.  
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh," Jasper sang back.  
"Give it to me baby," Rosalie sang.  
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh," Emmett sang back. He looked too happy to help her with her request.  
"Give it to me baby!" the four sang to Edward.  
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh," he answered.  
"And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy."

Suddenly all of the lights snapped back on and the five that were dancing on the table appeared back in their seats again, looking as bored as they were before.

"Stop staring!" Jessica ordered.

As I turned back around to the table I swear out of the corner of my eye I saw the Cullen/Hale table nodding their head to the silent music.

* * *

well,  
i don't consider myself a horrible person for this one.  
probably because it's not really a sad part of the book...  
...  
one day i should put these in order...  
...  
like _that's_ going to happen...  
:D  
the song was  
Pretty Fly (for a white guy) by the Offspring.  
if you haven't heard it before;  
go hear it now.  
i love that song...  
:D  
-the**envy**lover 

Stephenie Meyer owns the characters  
MT Books owns the publishing rights  
and  
the Offspring own the song.  
...  
i own two really stupid dogs.  
one of them is named Puppy and the other is named Gir.  
...  
yeah...


	5. Jacob Wants Bella's Love

the print in _italics_ is what was in the book  
the rest isn't.  
(just in case you couldn't figure that out)

**Twilight the Musical**

New Moon  
Hardcover First Edition  
Page 212  
Line 15  
Jacob Wants Bella's Love

_"What?" I muttered sourly._

_"You like me right?"_

_"You know I do." _

"_Better than that joker puking his guts out in there?" He gestured toward the bathroom door._

"_Yes," I sighed._

"_Better than any of the other guys you know?" He was calm, serene—as if my answer didn't matter, or he already knew what it was._

"_Better than the girls, too," I pointed out._

"_But that's all," he said, and it wasn't a question._

_It was hard to answer, to say the word. Would he get hurt and avoid me? How would I stand that?_

"_Yes," I whispered._

_He grinned down at me. "That's okay, you know. As long as you like me the best. And you think I'm good-looking—sort of. I'm prepared to be annoyingly persistent."_

"_I'm not going to change," I said, and thought I tried to keep my voice normal, I could hear the sadness in it._

_His face was thoughtful, no longer teasing. "It's still the other one, isn't it?"_

_I cringed. Funny how he seemed to know not to say the name—just like before in the car with the music. He picked up on so much about me that I never said._

"_You don't have to talk about it," he told me._

_I nodded, grateful._

"_But don't get mad at me for hanging around, okay?" Jacob patted the back of my hand. "Because I'm not giving up. I've got loads of free time."_

Music started playing somewhere. _Oh no, not again_! I thought. But it was too late; Jacob had already whipped out a microphone.

"You might've been hurt **babe.**  
That ain't no lie,  
You've seen _that one_ come and go, oh"

He got up, walked to the middle of the lobby, and faced me.

"I remember you told **me**  
That it made you believe in  
No man, no cry  
Maybe that's why"

He broke into some moves that I had seen in the music video when I was younger. It didn't bother me that he _knew_ the moves as much as it bothered me that no one else seemed to care.

"Every little thing I do  
Never seems enough for you  
You don't wanna _lose_ it again  
But I'm not like him!  
Baby, when you fi-nal-_ly_,  
Get to love some-bod-_y_  
Guess what?  
It's gonna be **me**!"

With the music solo he started to really get into the moves but people kept walking by like it was no big deal. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. No, he was still there. Still dancing. Well, at the moment, he was kind of leaning to the side.

"There comes a day  
When I'll be the one, you'll see...  
It's  
**gonna  
**gonna  
_gonna  
_gonna  
_gonna!!!_

**It's gonna be me."**

The song ended and I rubbed my eyes again. For some reason it worked and he was sitting right next to me like before.

"You okay? You don't look so well…" he asked. I held my head.

I didn't really know what to tell him.

* * *

haha,  
yay for insanity!!!  
XD 

the song-  
"It's Gonna Be Me," by NSync  
haha,  
i brought out one of my old CDs and started playing it so this might not be the last NSync one...  
you have been warned. 

Stephenie Meyer owns the characters  
MT Books owns the publishing rights  
and  
NSync own the song.  
...  
i own two really stupid dogs.  
one of them is named Puppy and the other is named Gir.  
...  
yeah...


	6. Bella Talks in Her Sleep

**whoa.**  
this is amazingly short.  
sorry...

**Twilight the Musical**

Twilight  
Paperback  
Page 293  
Line 12  
Bella Talks in Her Sleep

"_How often?" I asked casually._

"_Hmmm?" he sounded as if I had pulled him from some other train of thought._

_I still didn't turn around. "How often did you come here?"_

"_I come here almost every night."_

_I whirled, stunned. "Why?"_

"_You're interesting when you sleep." He spoke matter-of-factly. "You talk."_

"_No!" I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I gripped the kitchen counter for support. I knew I talked in my sleep, of course; my mother teased me about it. I hadn't thought it was something I needed to worry about here, though._

_His expression shifted instantly to chagrin. "Are you very angry with me?"_

"_That depends!" I felt and sounded like I'd had the breath knocked out of me.  
He waited._

"_On?" he urged._

"_What you heard!" I wailed_.

"You _tell_ me that you want me  
You _tell_ me that you need me  
You _tell_ me that you love me  
And I know that I'm right  
Cuz I hear it in the ni-i-ight  
I hear the secrets that you keep  
When you're talking in your sleep"

* * *

I also don't feel bad about this one,  
especially because i know that the next one is going to be horrid for you guys  
XD

well, i officially updated the site so now it has the videos  
click on "here" then "Twilight the Musical"  
i'll try to update it as often as possible.

the song-  
"Talking in Your Sleep" by the Romantics.  
...  
they should rename themselves "the Stalkers."  
i mean,  
this song is incredibly creepy.  
and it's strange how accurate it is to Twilight.  
so, for your enjoyment,  
i'll put the full lyrics  
enjoy.

-the**envy**lover

disclaimer- Twilight © and all of its contents are owned by † **Stephenie Meyer** † and not me.

* * *

When you close your eyes and go to sleep  
And it's down to the sound of a heartbeat  
I can hear the things that you're dreaming about  
When you open up your heart and the truth comes out 

You tell me that you want me  
You tell me that you need me  
You tell me that you love me  
And I know that I'm right  
Cuz I hear it in the night  
I hear the secrets that you keep  
When you're talking in your sleep

When I hold you in my arms at night  
Don't you know you're sleeping in a spotlight  
And all your dreams that you keep inside  
You're telling me the secrets that you just can't hide

You tell me that you want me  
You tell me that you need me  
You tell me that you love me  
And I know that I'm right  
Cuz I hear it in the night  
I hear the secrets that you keep  
When you're talking in your sleep

When you close your eyes and you fall asleep  
Everythng about you is a mystery

You tell me that you want me  
You tell me that you need me  
You tell me that you love me  
And I know that I'm right  
Cuz I hear it in the night  
I hear the secrets that you keep  
When you're talking in your sleep


End file.
